Backwards
by Silver lily 010
Summary: !Wincest! If you don't like don't read! Samxdean. !Dean/Bottom! Dean and Sam visit an old hosputal that Dean promises has only a slight spirit problem and would be a good place for him to start hunting again. Post Dean getting back from Hell the first time. Things go horribly awry and lead to some serious emotional stuffs. Enjoy!


Backwards

~''~Silver Lily~''~

Sam was not okay with this plan.

"Come on Sam! It will be easy. All you have to do is say the exorcism while I distract her!" Dean pushed.

"Yeah so?! You have been back all of three weeks and are still resting!" Sam replied. This heated argument had been going on for two days now and Sam knew Dean wasn't going to let up his fight. Sam also knew that the reason for him not wanting Dean to hunt was way more than just that. Sam wasn't about to fess up to being drop dead scared of losing Dean to hells fires again. Sam had barely gotten Dean back and now he wanted to hunt and Sam was at a loss.

No way am I ever going to forgive myself for not being able to bring my big brother home. If anyone could have done it that person was me. I will never risk him again, ever. Sam thought grimacing with the memories of the past couple of months. He had been so empty. He wouldn't lose Dean again.

"I said no and that is final." Sam said when the cold vice-like grip of fear wrapped around him.

"Then I'll just go by myself." Dean replied smugly. Sam knew he was telling the truth too. So when the sun rose the next morning Sam found himself in the passenger seat of the black Impala.

"Going to kick some spirit ass today, better have some awesome prep music!" Dean laughed turning on AC DCs Back in Black and blaring it through the speakers as he floored the gas pedal rocketing us down the road. Dean flashed him a smile as he sang along in his out of tune yet voice. That smile always brought butterflies to Sam's stomach plus how adorable Deans' failure at singing was made Sam smile. The first real smile since he got his brother back. Not to mention how hot and sexy he is sticking his head out the window like that. Sam started as the thought jogged through his mind. God no. Not again. He stuck his head out the window hoping the wind would shock the image and idea out of his mind. It didn't work. Dean was too loose looking for Sam NOT to notice. Sitting perfectly relaxed with a loose sexy smile that made Sams' lips tingle at the thought of. His head bobbed up and down with the beat of the music. Sam was seeing him bob that gorgeous head somewhere else before he caught the thought and mentally chucked it out the window. He tried not to notice Dean's hands. The left was on the steering wheel hitting the guitar notes in time. Dean's ability to play guitar so well was a huge turn on as it was but he just so happened to be fast at it too which made it all the worse. His write was laying just an inch too close to the inside of his left perfectly toned thigh. Sam had seen his brother in the nude but had always turned away only to sneak looks on rare occasions because he could feel the blush creep up to his cheeks. Now he was feeling it again. Feeling just how tight the cab of the car was. Sam could feel the warmth radiating off his brothers skin. God did Sams fingers tingle at the thought of touching that perfectly tan smooth skin. Just one little taste would be so easy… No! He should not be thinking about his older brother like this! His mind screamed and reeled from being denied. Sam couldn't bear to look at Dean so he stared out the window.

"You good Sam?" came Dean's voice next to him. Sam could hear the worry.

"Huh? Oh! Yeah, I am great! Just thinking about how bad this spirits day is gunna be! It is going to get a nasty dose of Winchester Boys this evening!" Sam replied recovering pretty much instantly. He had done it many times before. Too many times before….

"That's My Sammy!" Dean called yelling it to the wind. Maybe the wind would be able to remember when things were easy. When Sam wasn't afraid to sleep in the same room as Dean without feeling the air constrict his lungs. When they weren't hunting evil monsters and bent on protecting the other with their own lives. When the only problem they had was the bully across the street. And even then it wasn't bad because Dean would beat up the bully and protected Sam from the big dog the bully owned. Sam had to pretend that everything was normal now. And that is just what he did for the rest of the ride there. He studied the exorcism and tried to focus on only that. Which he knew was completely and utterly hopeless. He knew when his eyes jumped up they were jumping for Dean. Sam hated himself for it. He was a fucking freak.

When they reached the Hospital with the spirit Sam was the first one out. He was also first to feel the pull rip his legs out from under him as he was dragged into the old building. Both boys were dragged and thrown around till they were both unconscious. Then their bodies were dragged into a room on the top floor where a little girl stood, a malicious smile lighting her face and her eyes glowing bright white with a gold iris.

Sam was the first to gain consciousness. He seemed to notice his being first at things was making things a little weird... His eyes were blurred but he could feel. He could feel that he was trapped against a wall. His ankles and wrists had metal bars embedded into the cement walls holding them apart. His wrists and ankles were bleeding. He looked as though to be crucified. He was a good foot or so off the ground standing on a wood plank jutting out of the wall. As his vision returned he recognized the unconscious form of Dean in the same situation. Except that Sam could see the wounds. The scratches and bruises Dean had gained from being dragged into the building and being flung around like rag dolls. Dean had a major cut down the side of his chest almost hitting the protection on his chest. The skin practically hanging off of his older brothers chest due to how deep the slice was. Then it hit Sam. Dragged, they had been dragged by an unseen force inside this hospital. We had been moved and held against our will by unseen forces. Sam would have slapped himself for not seeing it earlier. The reality came crashing down like bricks on glass. It all landed on Sam with one look at the little girl. Dean had lied to me so he could hunt. Sam saw all the facts now. Dean accidentally losing the site with all the Hospitals information including the history that Sam had meant to look into. His recent determination to research Poltergeists under the guise of wanting to be ready for the next one since the one previous had almost run Dean through with several kitchen blades. His wanting to go to this site so bad he would threaten to bleach all of Sam's personal items and die his hair green with red stripes. It all hit him like a rock. He looked down to see a piece of paper reading "Marley's Hospital for The Criminally Insane and Mentally Disturbed" in worn red letters. Sam was crushed. He felt hurt and lost. And that pained seared deeper into him the second he looked up to see Dean come slightly to consciousness. Sam felt a bit of light shine through his darkness but it was suddenly thrown out when the Geist noticed as well. She walked up to him and wrapped her hand around his neck choking Dean. Sam may have been hurt but seeing Dean struggle hurt a million times worse. It cut into Sam deep down to his core slicing at his heart and soul. Sam was forced to watch helplessly as Dean coughed, gagged, and writhed away from her.

"Do you like pretty? I used to but pretty is bad. It gets you killed. He is too pretty. I think I shall fix him for you!" she laughed as she caused bits and pieces of sharp debris to fly at Dean cutting him and embedding itself into his skin.

Dean Screamed out in agony, twisting and clenching with cries of pain being jerked from him with the screams. Sam screamed for her to stop, that it was him she wanted, that Dean didn't matter to her.

"No, he doesn't. But he matters to you. And love is wrong. I don't like love." she giggled as a shard of glass sliced a deep gash from Deans hip up the left side of his torso and wrapping around his shoulder to dig itself into his blood covered skin wringing a blood curdling scream from Deans lips. Sam watched as Dean writhed and screamed pain and things that he never wanted to hear. Pleas, pleas for help, for her to stop, but mostly unintelligible words drenched in shear pain.

"HURT ME! Not him then!" Sam cried out begging.

"In time." is all she said before continuing her onslaught on the helpless Dean. Sams mind raced for a way to save Dean as he watched a multitude of gashes deep down to the bone bloom on his brother's skin. Flowers of red spurts as Dean's skin tore open. But Deans eyes. His eyes weren't pleading for help. No, they pleaded for forgiveness. Dean was trying to tell Sam how sorry he was. How he had fucked up and that he was sorry. That broke Sam in so many ways. Brought him down to the only way he knew how to save his Dean. He felt the demon blood he had drained in vengeance of Lucifer taking Dean pumping and burning with an ice cold fury through his veins. I will save him. No one lays a hand on MY Dean. No one touches my big brother besides me. Sam thought as he felt the black anger seep into him and flow over his eyes. He could see perfectly. He saw Dean, with his wings and the holy mark on his forehead. He saw the girl, her chains prominent and rustic with age. And he knew. Right now his eyes were darker than the emptiness that was his soul and his demonic wings were a fiery black against the walls. His Demonic mark would hang above him for the Geist to see. He knew that he was letting the wrong become a right. He would save Dean. He would kill to save his big brother… And kill is what he planned to do.

Sam jerked his wrists and ankles wrenching the iron bars out of the walls and proceeded to drop down to his knees, one hand balancing him. His eyes came up and locked on target. The girl didn't deserve life. She didn't have any rights. She gave hers up already. Now it was time for Sam to send her home. No one hurts MY Dean. That lives to tell the tale that is… Sam thought to himself as he rose and strolled right through the girls' powers and wrapped his hand around her neck.

"Ecchiomni miyakavar Donma," Sam says in a tongue alien to him as he tightens his grip just enough to still her pointless weak efforts to escape. Sam actually knew the language. It was not as alien as more of it slid from his lips. He was speaking straight from Lucifers books. Straight from th demon language.

"Malveolian despraive cravalet onlioki larnavoke yunnam vericostomiea!" he chanted staring deep into her soul cursing it to burn eternally. He feels her go taunt as she whispers her last natural words.

"You're that one kid. The Devil's advocate thing." she says fear radiating off of her in such great waves that Sam could taste it. Something about the way she said thing strikes Sam, pleases him. I am a monster. Run little girl. The closet opened and I crawled out. Sam smiles as he leans in to whisper the last words in her ear.

"Be gone ye unmade one!" Sam hissed slyly in her ear and grinned when he added a last little message.

"Run and tell Lucifer that little Sammy won't be coming home. Tell him his pet monster ran away." His smile spreading wider as her unholy scream dissipated.

"Sam." Dean's voice cracked lite boots on broken glass as it reached into Sam's consciousness.

"Sam calm down kid, she is gone. Sam please." Dean begged his voice slipping in and out. Sam froze; all his anger and pleasure at killing the girl freeing cold in his system. Dean! Gotta help Dean!

Sam ran to his brother using the last of his demon strength to pull out the bars holding Dean and caught him as he fell carrying Dean out to the front steps where Sam leans Dean against one of the walls and runs for the first aid. While Sam searched Dean worked on breathing. At first he found it hard but soon was able to keep going at a reasonable pace. Sam returned and started pulling off the torn and bloody rags that were Dean's clothes. Dean felt horrible and not only because of the wounds but also because he knew Sam knew Dean had lied to him. All Dean had wanted was for his kid brother to be normal again. Well, normal for Sam that is. Look at how that turned out you dumbass. Dean grilled himself as he kept trying to catch Sams' eyes. Sam, please look at me. I want to see your eyes again. Please. He begged in his mind as he searched.

"Sam I-" Dean tried but Sam shushed him.

"Shhh, no talking. Okay? Don't move. I am not as good at this as you are so please stay still." Dean so wanted to listen but knew he couldn't.

"I'm sorry I lied." He blurted out. Why am I being so sketchy?! Come on! Dean's mind screamed. Sam didn't respond. He just cleaned up Deans wounds. Dean was dying though. Why wasn't Sam talking to him? Did he hurt Sam worse somehow? Sam was always the talker not Dean. Dean sat in a globe of heavy confusion. Then it happened and everything went white. Sam was there and gone in seconds. Dean sat in shock for what seemed like hours. Sam had kissed him.

When Dean came out of the initial shock Sam was gone. Dean knew Sam would run somehow. Dean managed to get into the Impala and dragged himself to the Motel. For the first time Dean noticed how filthy it was. A dirt brown wall with what was a white ceiling with god knows what stains splattered everywhere. His bed creaked under his weight as he sat down staring at the spot where Sam's things had been. A small note sat on the night stand. Dean held the carefully folded piece of paper. His finger ran over its smooth surface and he found a spot where the paper was warped. A tear had mischievously fallen here. Dean weighed the paper in his hand the last piece of Sam he had. Why am I so scared? I know he can handle himself. Hell, look what he did back there! Dean thought one part in particular scorched into his memory. Sam's eyes. Not the soft hazel ones. The endless black orbs when they locked on the poltergeist. I knew she was a goner before he even stood up. But when those eyes turned to me they glistened before hazel fear took over. Dean pried at the top of the letter eventually deciding to open it.

Dear Dean,

Don't worry about me big brother. Okay? I can handle myself. Well except when I am with you, which is why I left. I am a really fucked up guy, so all I am asking is please. Don't follow me. Heal and go on without me. Hunt and find a good partner to hunt with. Goodbye.

Sam

Dean let loose a chain of profanities that lasted a good solid 5 minutes and got the neighbors asking if everything was okay. No. Nothing was okay. His Sammy was gone. Sam left just when he knew Dean couldn't follow even if Dean had wanted to.

"THAT BITCH RAN OFF ON ME!" Dean let off another list of profanities. The anger was all empty though. Dean hated crying, but when he collapsed onto his bed the tears came out fast and cruel. He sobbed uncontrollably and wished deep down to his core that Sam would just walk in and hold him. Tell him it was going to be okay. He wanted Castiel to be here to soothe his heart again. No god Dammit. That is why he is gone you sick bastard! He was chained away because of you… Freak. Dean berated himself. Why couldn't Sam have seen that Dean loved him too? Wasn't it why he had been with Castiel? So he wouldn't hurt Sammy? Why had Dean not seen Sams' own affection? Was he truly that dense? He was a horrible older brother. He couldn't even follow their fathers' last wish. For Dean to protect Sam at all cost. No, Sam saved him! Why? Why did he have to lose his baby brother?! Dean lay like that for hours. He lost all track of time and sense of self. Dean began killing himself on drink and bad T.V. occasionally bringing home someone in an attempt to bring himself back knowing full well that it would never happen. He was empty. All feeling was lost to him. Only empty self-hatred stayed with him. And strongly, to the point his dreams, what little sleep he had, were haunted by Sams' kiss. It was soft and loving but short brief and painful. He found himself crawling into Sams' bed at night just to hope to feel some sort of presence. He numbly carried Sams' letter with him everywhere. On what Dean supposed was around a month of this he was at the local run down bar trying to drink away his sorrow when a young girl strode up and ordered a strawberry margarita, then turned to Dean.

"You don't look so good buddy. What happened? Girlfriend break up with ya?" she asked taking a sup of her drink.

Who is this chick? Dean thought to himself.

"Do I know you?" Dean asked. His words slurred together.

"That don't matter. Tell me what happened." she said. And for some reason unknown to him Dean did. He told her everything. From the lying about the gig to the kiss and up to when she showed up.

"Damn dude. Well if you ask me I think you should track his ass down. Tell him everything you just told me. Do you have the letter? Of course you do. May I see it?" she asked. He handed her the letter but faltered and forgot to let go. No, he didn't want to let go. This was all of Sam he had left. But he trusted her and let her read it.

"Well fuck man. He really think you hate him or something." She said.

"Where do you get that from?" Dean asked sarcastically. She flipped the letter over and pealed aside the thin layer hidden on the back by another square of paper fit perfectly to the other. Why hadn't Dean noticed it? Who the hell are you?! Dean questioned in his mind as he took the small slip of paper.

"Please De. Don't come for me. I don't want you to hate me any more than you probably already do." It said. The girl looked at me. She moved grabbed Dean's drink and slid it down to the bar tender as she handed him his coat.

"Thanks Carl. I'll pay for him. He ain't drinking anymore. Okay bud, go find Sam. Sober up of course but that is your only family let alone the love of your life. He kissed you which means he loves you too. The reason he left is because he thinks that love is unreciprocated. Show him that you love him." she said pushing him out the door as she pulled on her golden furry coat and turned him to sit.

"Sober up out here. It's faster, and then hit the road and go get him." she cheered resolutely. He was already brimming with hope. This girl somehow knew just how to make him excited to do this. Did she know him somehow and he wasn't aware of it?

"How am I supposed to find him? It's been weeks! He could be anywhere!" Dean gargled out.

"You'll know. Trust me." she said before turning to go inside.

"Wait! What's your name?" he asked.

"My names Jessica." She said before disappearing inside.

Dean swore as he flew to the door. When he searched he never found her. There wasn't even a Carl bartender. No one had seen her. Not even when they had walked out. Had he seen Sams' girlfriend that was killed like their mom? He didn't know. But there was one thing he did know. He had to find Sam, soon. For the first time in about a month he looked at his phone for a date and time instead of mystery calls that never came. 1:42 AM July 26th. It had been 28 days. Three more days and it would be a month since he had seen his baby boy. A month since he had heard Sammy's voice. A month since the kiss. Dean was overcome with a need deeper than hell itself and longer than heavens eternity. He knew a fast way to sober up. He threw his coat in the impala and proceeded to lock the door as he turned and started running. He ran and ran for what he estimated to be a good 10 miles in around 6 hours. He got back hopped in the impala and revved her to life. Her soft rumble was just more to add to his determination to find his Sam. He was alive again. Sam was out there, and Dean was going to bring him home. First Dean hit the highway. No music, no speeding. Nothing was going to hinder him. Not the police or rush hour traffic. He searched every nook and cranny of his brain for where his baby boy would have gone to. Home? No, too painful and occupied… He kept going. Bobby's? No too obvious. Obvious? Why does that click somewhere…? Click. Keyboard.

"Fuck Sammy, make it any easier kid?" Dean laughed as he drove on to Stanford University.

Dean pulled in a day later at 12:30. Sam, where you my Sammy be on campus? Oh, duh, books dumbass. Dean shivered. Was it really this easy? What if he was wrong? Dean was almost a gibbering wreck when he finally stepped into the old library. It smelled of old books and silence. Now he knew why Sam always smelled weird, because he always had his nose buried in some book or another. Hope he has one now. Dean was brimming with hope. He wanted to scream Sam's name. Wanted to get the people at the desk to call his baby brothers name over the Com but he knew that if he did that Sam would just run. Dean had to be calm and fit in. Whispers spread fast in libraries. So if some 27 year old guy walks in looking so agitated his brains are going to fall out his ears people know. Dean walked to a book shelf. What luck? Demonology was the first title he spotted. Dean cracked the old volume open sneezing into his sleeve because of the dust. Really people? Come on. It was a long and boring book but Dean wasn't really reading it. He was watching for Sam. He turned the page and almost laughed. A yellow eyed man was staring at him from the page. "Some Demons hide as humans. It is said that they can't hide their eyes though. Thought that way because it is said that 'eyes are a window to the soul'" read the little words below the painting. Dean tried so hard not to laugh as he looked through the rest of the book. When he was finished he looked for the authors' name. Scrawled on the front was the name and he gaged when he saw it. "J.S.D. Winchester." Dean nearly dropped the book. He flipped to the back searching for an authors' description. Nothing, he researched through the book. Stories. Their stories and information published. Why hadn't I known about this?! Dean questioned.

"Hurry! Hide!" came a voice behind him. Dean turned to find Jessica standing right behind him.

She pushed him behind a book shelf and made it behind too just before Sam walked by. Dean wanted so badly to just reach out nut Jessica hissed a ghostly no. When Sam seated himself Dean moved so he could watch both of them without being seen by Sam.

"What the Fuck!?" Dean asked her.

"As you guessed I am not here for normal reasons. I know why too. I want Sam happy in love. You are my only chance. You will NOT fuck this up. I also know you love him. I will help you. Just listen okay? He can't know I am here. Spiritually. It would ruin everything. Also be smooth. Not stressed. Act like brothers when inside. He will leave. You follow. Once you are outside leave the rest to me." she said before disappearing.

"Some help you are." he said looking around the corner. The first time he really got to see Sam in a month. He took in Sam and all of him at that. He got fit and has some pretty predominant ripples in that white V-neck shirt he is wearing. His hair got a slight trim but still long and still makes Dean want to run his fingers through it. His eyes were the biggest change. They lost their luster. Their shine and life was gone. In fact Sams' whole body lacked life. Dean reached up and checked himself, glad he had shaved at the last pit stop. Dean was sure Sam would have hated his stubble and how Deans' hair had gone. Dean cleaned up nice though. You got this. Go get him! His mind cheered. After a long pause he moved towards his brother. He sat right across from Sam. He watched as Sams' whole body seized up then shrank. Dean had no idea what to say. He was speechless when he was supposed to give the speech! Hell, he didn't remember how to talk at all! Sam did though.

"Go home Dean." Sam said coldly.

"Sorry kid, but it's not gunna be that easy to ditch me this time." Dean said calmly.

"Fuck off Dean." Sam said before standing and leaving just as Jessica had said he would. Dean followed casually. When he stepped outside his mouth almost hit the floor.

"God Dammit Dean! What The Absolute Fuck?! I SAID Get LOST!" Sam shoved at the copy of Dean. Shape shifter?! FUCK Jessica really?! Dean thought as he came bursting out the door unsheathing his Colt 45' at the other Dean. He lunged grabbing the thing rip roaring around the corner where no one would see. He bashed it against the wall slamming his heel into its knee efficiently shattering it so the thing wasn't going anywhere. Sam came crashing around the corner seconds later.

"Fuck you! No one is laying a fucking finger on my baby brother hear me Bitch!" Dean growled as he stepped back slowly. Sam froze instantly.

"Wanna know a secret? Wanna get out with a bit of useful knowledge? Don't fuck with family! Especially when they love each other like we do! I am going to blow a hole in your head the size of your fucking ugly ass eyeball! Look like me my ass! You look like a bastard that's what! Dumbass! Don't fuck with Dean Winchester when it comes to protecting HIS Sammy. No one messes with my Baby Brother! I will rip your lungs out! That is my baby BROTHER. And I love him. Love him in ways you're afraid to love! And you, being a sick twisted freak, tried to harm him! Any last words Bitch?" Dean blew a cap off in his other knee.

"Yeah. One thing. Your brother was my goal because at least he would be worth Fucking!" It screamed as Sam loosed a full clip of silver bullets into it. Shock filling Dean up.

"Sammy? Sammy it's okay! It's gone. Don't be afraid baby boy. I'm here now. You gunna be okay kid?" Dean asked fearfully watching his brother drop the gun Dean had been holding not seconds ago. Dean caught Sam as Sam collapsed to the ground.

"Dean… Dean I'm so sorry!" Sam cried into Deans chest his body wracked by the heavy sobs. This is where Dean knew he was meant to be. Protecting his baby brother and holding him when he cried. No one was going to take his baby away again.

"Shhh, it's going to be okay Sammy... It's going to be okay… Shhh." Dean hushed Sam carrying him to the Impala. He sat his baby brother in the passenger side seat and climbed into the drivers' side. He started the Impala and then entwined his and Sammys' fingers.

Dean got the nearest reasonable hotel room he could.

"What ya doin later there hon?" the lady at the desk asked. Kaite her name tag read.

"Taking care of the baby brother." Dean replied pointing at his Sammy curled up asleep in the fetal position in the front of the car.

"Oh." she said her voice losing its playfulness. Dean didn't care though. Only one person mattered now, and that was his brother. Dean walked out and drove the Impala around to their door. He carried Sammy inside and laid him on one of the two double beds. Then Dean went out and got their bags out of the back (They had stopped at Sams' room but Sam had refused to stay there.) and left them at the foot of their beds. Sam had remained completely still lying on his side on the bed. Shock and other emotions running rampant through him at top speed burning up his veins. He was so deep in thought about what Dean had said that he started at the feel of Dean pressing a warm washcloth against his eyes. Dean sat on the edge of the bed and slowly cleaned the tears and snot from Sams' face. Slowly dragging the cloth over his baby brothers' cheeks and eyelids. Dean dropped the cloth on the table and then continued to caress Sams' face. Feeling his brothers' soft skin again after so long. Sam reluctantly reached up and pulled Deans hand away from his face with a grimace.

"Dean, you know we can't-" is all he got out before Dean silenced him with a kiss. Not timid or flighty like their first. No. This was much more. It was strong, sure, and full of passion. Dean licked at Sams' bottom lip asking for entry. Sam more than willingly let him in. They explored each-others mouths gently but passionately. Sam tasted of Dr. Pepper and lemons. Dean tasting of salt and burritos.

"I don't care how wrong this is. Sam our lives are already fucked up. People and society can call this," Dean gestured between him and Sam.

"Wrong all they want. I don't care. I love you Sam. Always have always will. I love you. I love you, I love you, I love you." Dean chanted to Sams' kiss as he laid down pulling Sammy into his arms. Sam instantly came to life in Deans arms. His whole body electrified. Dean loved him! Was this a dream? No, he knew this was real. He was really holding Dean close and was really being kissed by Dean and Holy Fuck! Dean is hard! Sams' mind races. He acted out of instinct.

"I love you Dean. Let me love you. Please. I promise to stop when you tell me. Let me enjoy this please." Sam begged moving to straddle Dean rubbing their hips together.

"Are you sure?" Dean asked a moan escaping his lips as he thrusted upward into Sams' grinding hips.

"There is no going back after." Dean said as he wrapped an arm around Sams' neck.

"Yes Dean, yes." Sam replied before kissing Dean passionately and with as much force as he could muster.

Their tongues battled for dominance while Sam worked to remove their shirts. When he finally managed to get them off he stopped. Looking at his big brother. Dean smirked.

"Whatcha lookin at there hottie?" Dean asked toying with Sams' waist band. Sam grinned cheesily palming the bulge in his brothers' pants. Damn how fucking thick are you Dean?! Sam thought as he bent to whisper,

"Just my 'oh so fuckable' older brother half naked beneath me." Sam growled out. Dean moaned lightly bucking up against Sams' hand.

"Do it. Bring it baby boy." Dean said popping Sammys' jeans button and unzipping it to slide his hand up and down Sams cock over his jeans. God! Looks like Sam got the good genes! Thick and long! Suddenly Dean was grateful for the last two guys that had had him while he was depressed. Sam smiled on Deans bruised and swollen lips just before dropping to suckle on Deans' hard nipple. The rod in his pants jerking as Deans' breath hitched. His lips and tongue taking turns on each of the hard nubs that Deans' nipples had become. Dean worked his hands into Sams' pants sliding them down Sams hips only to freeze in surprise. The kid went commando?! Dean gasped as Sam ground his cock into Deans open palm.

"Surprised? You aren't the only one who gets around big brother." Sam said his voice dark and delicious.

"Fuck Sammy. Can't even fit my hand all the way around you! And damn! Looks like your height is active in both scenarios!" Dean groaned out working Sammy. He may not be able to fit around but he knew how to work it. He twisted as his hand came up and swirled the pad of his thumb over the slit on the head and worked down slowly bringing Sam to a fast breathing bucking mess in minutes.

"Nice isn't it? Probably can't wait to feel it all inside you." Sam teased through his breaths twirling his finger around the head of Deans' cock. Sam then proceeded to shuck the last of their clothes and pump Deans weeping cock. Sam wasn't small by any stature but Dean was thick. Sam had big hands and could barely reach all the way around. Sam sucked Deans' cock into his mouth without a single drop of fear. He could do this. Dean felt a zing of pleasure shoot up his spine as the pleasure of Sammys' mouth sliding up and down him.

"God Sammy, you sure got a mouth on you doncha?" Dean bit back a moan as his baby brother sucked him all down to the hilt. Sam continued bobbing for a moment before pulling off with a soft crisp 'pop' sound.

"Had to try. I lost it that way three years ago. Been both bottom and top since then big brother. So if you want to go that far just tell me and I will do what you want." Sam replied a blush creeping up his neck. Dean groaned. His baby brother looked soo good all disheveled and blushing profoundly.

"I want you to top. Wanna feel you deep inside me. And I want it now." Dean replied grinding Sams' dick along the valley of his ass. He watched as Sams pupils blew out and dilated. He could see the lust burning in those eyes.

"Okay, Okay Dean." Sam said nibbling Deans' ear. Sam felt scared but ready. His heart pounding like a racehorse as he stood. Dean froze in fear. Had he been too forceful? Had he scared Sammy away? His fears evaporated to dark lustful passion as he watched his brother rooted through his bag and pulled out a silver tube. Of course. Lubricant. Sammy is being precautious. Wait a minute…. SAMMY KEEPS LUBE ON HAND?! He moaned at the idea that Sam was practiced. This is going to be soo good both boys thought as Sam crawled on top. He lined up with Dean and felt the cold lube drip off Sams' fingers into the dimples on his lower back.

"Gunna stretch you first big brother." Sam said going to lube his finger up but Dean flipped on his back and grabbed Sams' fingers suckling on two of them. He looked so good to Sam that Sam almost creamed his pants right there. But he was determined to pleasure Dean. So he held it in and worked his fingers in Deans' mouth and pulled them out when they were nice and dripping.

"Want you to spit work me. Use the lube for the actual dead Sammy... I think I am actually going to stretch myself with your fingers." Dean said spreading his legs and holding two of Sammys' fingers to his hole. He worked the rim at first and watched as Sams breathing picked up and Sammy slipped a hand up and down himself, moaning when Dean breached himself with Sammys' fingers. Starting with two for god sake! It's like he wants me to cream myself like a school boy! But he ain't getting that. This is my job. And I will work him. Sam thought to himself before he started scissoring his fingers inside of Dean using his other hand to hold Deans arms above Deans head. Sam moaned on Deans' lips when he felt Deans' body working itself of Sams' fingers.

"One more Sammy. I want one more then I want you to fuck me into oblivion baby brother. Want you soo bad." Dean cooed as he sucked on Sammys' earlobe. Sam ground his cock into his own hand breath dark and hot against Deans' neck. Sam worked a third finger into Deans body and one of them caressed over that little ball of nerves and Deans back bowed under Sams body.

"Found it big brother. Gunna work it a little." Sam said scratching a nail over Deans prostate. Sam loved the way Dean looked when being touched. Skin red and marks beginning to show on Deans glowing beautiful skin. This was Sams Dean and he was going to make Dean scream Sams' name. "Wanna flip over for me?" Sam asked Dean.

Dean shook his head side to side "I wanna see you when you fuck me Sammy. Wanna see your pleasure at being swallowed up inside of me." Dean said

"Show me what you've got, baby brother," Dean purred, thrusting up as he pulled Sam back down for a down and dirty kiss that left them both gasping. Sam decided it was best if he just let himself go. He knew that if things got too rough Dean would tell him. Sam lubed himself up and began rubbing the head on the small circle of tight musces dragging a delicious moan out from between Deans lips.

"Come on Sammy! Please, please kid." Dean begged thrusting his hips backwards. Sam timed it perfectly. He thrusted forwards just in time to catch Deans thrust backwards.

"Fu-uck!" Dean swore. Sam bit at Deans shoulder blade as he thrust hard and true hitting that ball of nerves every time. Dean was in a state of heaven. Every thrust brought white light and stars to Deans eyes. He was so over run with pleasure that he could feel the heat pooling at the base of his spine. His whole body was so filled with Sam that he began to chant his baby brothers name over and over.

"Dean, Dean so good..." Sam moaned as he bit lightly down Deans back his thrusts getting more and more erratic. "Gunna come for me big brother?" Sam growled in the most beautifully erotic way. Dean reached his hand down and started pumping himself. "Yeah baby boy. You getting close too?" Dean asked his voice rough and gravelly in the best way. Sam reached around and covered Deans hand and both of them worked Dean. The feel of Sams hand over his on his cock and the slip slide of Sams cock over Deans prostate and Sams husky smell and his taste on Deans lips was all so overwhelming that Dean felt the hot fire shoot out of him as he screamed out Sams name buzzing on his bruised and beautiful lips. Sam came inside Dean at the feeling of every muscle clenching around him.

"that was unbelievable." Dean gasped as he felt Sammy pull out of him and collapse next to him. Sam pulled Dean into him curling around him.

"I love you Dean." Sam managed to whisper before he fell asleep. Dean laid in the comfort of Sams arms. This was perfect. Yes there were going to be hard times ahead. Moments where both of them would falter. But now Dean and Sam both had something to protect. Yes they both had loved and made love to their lovers in their pasts. Sam had loved Jessica and Dean had loved Castiel. But now they were together. They were each-others. And they would never let go ever again. They would share in their sorrows and their smiles. Dean smiled to himself.

"Such a backwards life we live here my Sammy." He whispered into the night air as he drifted into the first nightmare-less sleep they both had in a long time.


End file.
